The saddest song you may ever hear is the one that yourheart sings over and over again, every night when you arealoneand especially when yourmind wants it to stop. It is about “What if"es and a lot ofdisspointments. But life isbeautiful, as long as you can feel it; There is no happinesswithoutpain.
I really missed this place… It makes me feel like there is no time. An eternal noisy sielence. An old house with a lot of old hand-made objects that make you feel like they were always there and always will be.
Wherever I go I am looking for the Paradise, but not today. Today I felt like there is no Paradise. I had a strange feeling of sadness, maybe sadness it’s not always a blessing, or maybe that thing was not sadness. Maybe I am just tired…
An old homeless man stopped me an hour ago on the street and told me to be careful who I choose to be by my side (as a lover), because I am the one who will say “Yes." or "No.”, and then he said: “Look at me and be careful, have a nice night and I hope that you are loved.”.
I don’t know if I am the only one who “met” the Devil… It appeared as the most beautiful human being I had ever seen, always by my side, always ready to meet me, but also ready to destroy me, deep and slow.
“So, when the Devil wants to dance with you, you better say never,
Because the dance with the Devil might last your forever.”
P.S. - Now I have guns around my soul, for keeping it safe.
It is pretty weird how we always choose what we think it’s good for us and most of the time we avoid to choose what we deserve, but it’s hard, because somehow it’s pretty impossible to figure out what you really deserve… In the end we have to thank the Universe, it will always brings us what we deserve, we just have to accept it.
Somehow I promised myself that this Summer I will find what I was (and still am) looking for since the day I was born… I wanted to spend the last day of this Summer with someone special doing new things and being happy. I don’t know what to say, but I spent it with myself in my hometown drinking a lot of coffee and smiling at random people… Maybe the best person we can spend time with is ourselves…
It was all so clear to me, but something went wrong and on my glorious and happy way to everything I started to taste sadness and disappointment pretty often, because sometimes what doesn’t kill you makes you weaker. I never knew how to take care of my feelings, I always thought that love and sincerity is the key to everything.
I think that people are afraid to accept the love they deserve, especially when it is coming straight in their face. I guess there is something wrong in all this process of achiving affection, peace and love… I am afraid of loosing things I never had, I am afraid that there are things I crave for and I will never have the pleasure to touch them. Dear myself, I am sorry for being weak, but I’m trying and I’m giving my best, I swear!